FTD Delivery - Overcoming Shyness

Mark Goulston

Despite most of the social and networking events I attend ending up very positive, I still am by nature shy and have to overcome a built in resistance to going.  I've often decribed myself as a founding member of the "dread going, but glad I went" society  I have used a couple techniques to overcome my reluctance to go and then to make the most out of social gathering that might work for you as well. 

First, when I am getting dressed and ready to leave for an event I say repeatedly to myself, "Don't think, just go!" or "If you don't go, you'll just feel worse."

Second, when I get there I try to engage in conversations where I ask people questions that will cause them to say: "I feel x, I think y, I did or would do z"  (what I call FTD Delivery). When people ask me questions where I answer in that way,  I feel "known" by them in ways that I usually wouldn't if we get into a conversation that is exclusively about what we feel or what we think or what we did or would do. 

Much of who we are is composed of what we feel, think and do.  When we are in conversations where we get to express all three, we feel more satisfied.

For more communication tips, check out my Usable Insight: Communication 101, 102, 103, 104