never eat alone blog

A good father

Keith Ferrazzi

From leadership expert Jim Citrin's new column at Yahoo! Finance...

Just about everything we do in both our personal and professional lives is dependent on other people. And how you interact with those people has a direct effect. Even such seemingly "non-relationship" things as learning from a teacher in school or getting a ticket from a police officer are directly affected by your relationship skills.

I just had this conversation with my kids, two of whom are in high school. "Who do you think the teacher will be more supportive of when it comes to assigning grades -- the student who does his work with a positive attitude, who goes in for extra help and pays full and engaged attention in class, or the one who sits back, even if they have the same test scores?"

I love that Jim is already teaching his children the importance of relationships to their academic/professional advancement while they're so young.

Some parents, unfortunately, have the mindset that their children should learn this way of the world on their own, or "the hard way," perhaps because they did.

But I think Jim has the right idea, to teach children the build it before you need it lesson and help them start setting themselves up for success as early as they want, so--as all good parents hope--they have it better than we did.

The e-cards for perfect pinging

Ian Ybarra

I like the idea of sending e-cards rather than paper cards to save time and money, but I couldn't bring myself to send one because it seemed like my only choices were singing turkeys or too-warm-and-fuzzy messages on pastel flowers.

But now, there's Delivr.net, which lets you "search over 3,000,000 [Creative Commons] licensed images, or lookup your own CC licensed pix on Flickr to create a unique custom greeting card."
Perfect. Just the right photo and the right message is all I need.

Thanks to Uncle Mark's Gift Guide & Almanac 2007 for the useful tip.

Kristen Silverberg, Brand USA

Today I had an interesting call. I spoke with Kristen Silverberg, the Assistant Secretary of State for International Organization Affairs. She’s a very charming woman, sharing anecdotes about her three year old niece, as well as being as intellectually stimulating as they come.  We brainstormed some great ideas for incorporating ERM (executive relationship management) and PRM (personal relationship management) into international relations.

Kristen brought up the conflicting ideas surrounding our country right now, not only involving criticism from the outside, but debate from the inside as well.  She focuses the bulk of her time on the Security Council working on negotiations with resolution language. Funny, one of the main criticisms the United States faces is that of “going it alone,” and this is becoming a dignity issue for the rest of the world. We are starting to appear, from the outside, as though we don’t need the help of other countries, and that couldn’t be more untrue. 

I couldn’t help but see how this relates to each of us as individuals – the struggle with being able to ask for help, and letting other people help. The interesting thing about it is that when a person, or in this case, a country, is brave enough to ask for help, it increases the value of that country as a brand.  I can’t remember a time when brand USA was more valued than after 9/11, or when Katrina devastated our southern coast. The pinnacle of intimacy is letting people help you and being able to ask for help. When you ask for help, you’re at once showing respect for their abilities and letting them inside your walls.

There are so many things in our lives that make us build up walls around ourselves. The sad thing is that we think our walls are so unique, that no one else has the same ones, but at the end of the day, we all have similar worries and frustrations and we are all looking for the same things, deep mutual understanding with others.  The way we get there is to help people get comfortable to “exhale.” Get them to talk about things they are passionate about.  Tell people about our own past struggles. It comforts others to know that we haven’t had it easy either, that life is a struggle for all of us. 

Kristen sees this all the time. She said that people in foreign diplomacy are always traveling to ask someone for a meeting, or to ask people to stand on their side.  They want to be sure they haven’t been abandoned.  To ask for this kind of help means asking to share some level of intimacy with them.

While some people may look at this plane of intimacy as insincere, it’s important to realize that if your heart is in the right place then it isn’t trite at all. 

I believe what Kristen is doing is so important and needed right now. I have said for a long time that the “brand” of the United States of America needs some attention, and Ms. Silverberg appears to share that sentiment. Not that we should focus too much on promoting brand USA for the sake of promotion. Without changing our relationships, that sort of marketing would be hollow and only alienates people and countries and groups that could help us, and us them. We need genuine relationships to strengthen our country's brand just like our personal brands.

Podcast - Danny Meyer's Five A's for Addressing Mistakes

Audio (mp3) - Danny Meyer's Five A's for Addressing Mistakes

Relevant links
Senator Evan Bayh

Danny Meyer's book, Setting the Table: The Transforming Power of Hospitality in Business

Podcast - Halloween Party, Gore Vidal, and Taking Time Off

Audio (mp3) - Halloween Party, Gore Vidal, and Time Off

Relevant links
Steve Rubin, one of the most influential people in books

Gore Vidal's new memoir: Point to Point Navigation

Ferrazzi Friends in Cleveland

Just like Keith describes in Never Eat Alone Chapter 16 "Expanding Your Circle"...Rob Felber (Felber & Felber Marketing), Roger Balser (Balser Wealth Management), and Jeff Nischwitz (CBIZ) put their networks together for an evening at The Club at Key Center in Cleveland. Rob and Jeff served as guest bartenders for their "thirsty and generous colleagues," whose donations and tips were passed on to E CITY Cleveland, a local non-profit that teaches young people in Cleveland about business and entrepreneurship. Rob Felber said, "We just hoped to top 50 people, so we were shocked when attendance went over 225!"

No surprise here, though. When you're in the practice of building real relationships and you put together an event where people can expand their circles and contribute to a good cause, you'll draw a shockingly large crowd, too.