never eat alone blog

Great Gifts for Connectors

Ian Ybarra

It’s usually a good thing to have friends who are super-connectors. Their knowing everyone and being in the know about almost everything can be very helpful, but those qualities sure make it a pain in the butt to get them a good gift, or at least one they don't already have.

If you’re still shopping for a super-connector (or if someone’s still wracking their brains about what to get for you), here are seven great gifts ideas, suggested by a few super-connectors themselves.

Also, if you suggest another great gift for connectors in the comments (make sure you leave your email, too), you’ll have a chance to win one of seven copies/units/whatever of the # 3 idea on the list below. The seven lucky commenters will be announced on January 3, so no matter if you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, you’ll also be able to steal ideas from the gift exchanges in your neighborhood!

1. A CardScan

Just like the name says, it scans business cards so you have the contact information for everyone you meet in your computer instead of gathering dust on your desk. There are a couple CardScan devices always humming in the Ferrazzi Greenlight office, and everyone I know who has one absolutely loves it.

http://www.cardscan.com

Suggested by David Teten, author of The Virtual Handshake: Opening Doors and Closing Deals Online (which I think would be a good gift, too!)

2. Headphone splitter for $3

This headphone splitter is such a simple (and cheap!) device, but it makes a world of difference. A big part of connecting is about sharing experiences with people, and now that everyone (but me) has an iPod, this headphone splitter will enable them to really share music – comfortably, because no one likes doing the one-earpiece-each thing. To make them fully prepared to share even if they run into a non-iPodder like me, consider buying them an extra set of headphones, too.

Belkin headphone splitter

Apple iPod headphones

3. The new game about giving

GiftTrap is a new game that challenges you to choose the right gifts for the people you’re playing with, testing (and improving) how well you know them and their interests…making it almost a training tool for generous connectors. Plus, playing the game should help you learn what to get your friends in the future.

http://www.gifttrap.com

(Comment on this post with another great gift for connectors and you might get one of the seven GiftTrap games we're giving away!)

4. The RIGHT gift card

This is more of a rule than a clever idea. If you’re going to cop out with a gift card, and you aren’t ABSOLUTELY SURE that they’re in love with a certain store, always get a connector a gift card to a place they can spend time with people instead of just buying stuff. Restaurants are good. (Never Eat Alone, right?) Connectors will get far more joy from sharing a meal with a new contact or an old friend (perhaps you!) than “having” to buy a new sweater.

Coffee shops work, too. Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of the Protocol School of Palm Beach, says, “I give Starbucks gift cards and attach a note that reads, ‘Thanks a LATTE for your friendship!’”  (Guess we’ll scratch what I said about clever...Jacqueline has a ton of etiquette tricks up her sleeve...as you'll see in her book Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work.)

5. A book for the ages

Remember the three keys to loyalty? Health, Wealth, and Children. This book /journal called Generation to Generation enables people to enrich that third part of their life, to deepen relationships with their families.

Connector Larry Benet says “I feel comfortable giving this gift to anyone, even the person who has everything because it is filled with questions to help someone capture the wisdom of their life’s journey and preserve it to be passed on from generation to generation."

Link: More about Generation to Generation

Link: Larry Benet's Outside the Box Consulting

6. Money is no object

Entrepreneur Rajesh Setty reminds us that connectors deal in many currencies other than money, so the best gifts may not cost you anything at all. Here is Raj's quick list of things you can do to “Help them extend their reach,” which is something every connector would like to do.

•    Connect them to other connectors
•    Connect them to other cool people
•    Send a link to their blog to hundred of your friends for whom it may be relevant
•    Link to their blog or to their website or to their book
•    Buy 25 of their books and distribute to friends for whom the book may be relevant.

Link: Rajesh Setty's book and blog Life Beyond Code

Link: Suggestica, Raj's new project to bring you recommendations on books and more from trusted advisors (click here for Keith's recommended books re: relationships)

7. The ultimate guide for connectors

If you have connector friends who haven’t read Never Eat Alone, get it for them today. They'll probably see a lot of themselves in the book and learn a few things, too.

And, of course, if you want to buy 25 like Raj suggested above, Keith and I would consider it a gift to us, too.

Want your copies of Never Eat Alone signed by Keith? Go to
http://keithferrazzi.com/buy3 for details.

If you liked this Great Gifts for Connectors, please send the link to your friends or to Digg or wherever you talk about cool stuff.

And if you want one of the seven GiftTrap games we're giving away, put your own great gift for connectors idea in the comments. Thanks for playing! (Quick warning: No new cell phone or PDA ideas will get a GiftTrap game, because those are really obvious, and you and I and other connectors probably already have the ones we want. Besides, you’re way more creative than that anyway.)

When women leave the workplace

Keith Ferrazzi

Many women who leave the workplace to raise children become isolated and depressed. As you might have read in my article in Reader's Digest, my friend Jennifer is different. She realized that having a community, preserving her relationships, and making new friends was going to be as important to her happiness at home as it was to her success at work. And she is rocking!

Check out her site SuburbanCEO.com, which attracts so many other mothers dealing with the same issues of leaving the workplace or perhaps having never been in the workplace and trying to fit in with friends who have more "professional" careers (as if being a mom isn't difficult enough).

I love the name SuburbanCEO, and I love the tagline: Because you don't need a career to have it all!

Also, if you got a chuckle out of the story in Never Eat Alone about why I don't send Christmas cards anymore (the jist: a friend from college got three cards one year with different signatures!), you have to read this entry from the SuburbanCEO blog.

Link: SuburbanCEO blog - "My missing two cents"

Inside the life of little people

Keith Ferrazzi

I met Matthew this week. He has dwarfism, and he agreed to have a brief conversation about his life as a little person so I could share with you and hopefully we gain some appreciation for the challenges Matthew and so many others face.

K: Matthew, what are some of the challenges you face on an everyday basis?

M: Well, just going to the store is one. So many times I just need to go into a store but I'm just dreading walking in, because I know everyone will just be staring at me. Now, when I'm with other little people, I don't mind it so much because there's that support. You feel safer when you have friends around and everyone's got everyone's back. In some situations, it's not as important. When you're going to school and you hang out with the same people everyday, that's a lot easier than just going somewhere new and being around people you don't know.

K: Are you in touch with a lot of little people? Do you feel like you belong to a community?

M: Not really. I don't know many little people personally. We're so spread out. I guess we could have meetings or whatever in LA, but it's a pain for everyone to have to travel into town for that. Maybe I should. I know that being around other little people helps. I know there are big conferences for little people. Kids who have dwarfism and go to the conference, they get to feel normal for a week and a half. But then it's hell the rest of the year.

K: Well if you're so spread out geographically, I bet the Internet is definitely helpful for connecting with other little people.

M: Definitely. My girlfriend is a little person, and I met her online. The Internet is definitely helpful for little people.

K: You use the term 'little people' a lot. Is that the term everyone should use?

M: Yeah, it's probably the best term. Most people don't know the difference between dwarf and midget, and the word midget has been made into a very derogatory word because of references in movies and TV. So even if a person is a midget, they don't like hearing that. Little people is a lot better for us.

K: Tell me about your parents. Are they little, too? How's your relationship with them?

M: My parents are normal size. I'd say our relationship is pretty good, mostly because they always treated me just like anyone else. They wouldn't get stuff off the top shelf for me. They always let me get a stool or climb up to get what I needed.

K: What do you want people to know about little people?

M: If you see a little person, it's okay to ask questions -- if you're sincere, it's okay. Even if I didn't know you, I'd be fine with answering a question about it. Anything to help others understand little people.
----------------

Understanding. I think that's what we all want.

Link: Little People of America

The Ferrazzi holiday party

Ian Ybarra

The Ferrazzi Greenlight holiday party went down at Keith's house last night. Two photo highlights below.

Santa Keith and Dr. Mark Goulston

The perfect gift for Keith - a NEW Big Wheel!

Keith in Reader's Digest: "How to Succeed at Anything"

Check the new Reader's Digest (January 2007 issue, blue cover with Hilary Swank top-left, page 107) for Keith's article "Got a Dream? Here's how to make it happen." Or click here to read it at RD.com.

About time we heard what the aging population can DO together

Keith Ferrazzi

Seems like everyone's always talking about the market opportunities emerging because of America's aging population. It's about time someone stopped talking about their buying power and more about their DOING power!

I had the great fortune to give a "How Relationships Can Keep You Young" talk at the AARP conference last month. I have to tell you, I left that talk with so much hope because those folks have so much potential. They know that no magic potion, no secret drug, not even great relationships can actually make us younger. But, they're realizing what great relationships can do is put a lot of joy in their lives and enable extraordinary achievements, and both of those things are what make us feel alive at any age.

Leading the way is the CEO of AARP himself, Bill Novelli. And I think his book is one of the most important books of the year.

50+: Igniting a Revolution to Reinvent America is a powerful manifesto on the opportunity, not for marketing to the 50-plus, but for the 50-plus to make big changes if they come together in "the spirit of serving others."

If they'll do that, I guarantee the second half of their lives may be even more great and significant than the first half.

And, of course, you know me and my belief in setting 10-year goals. Well, one of my new 10-year goals is to still be going strong "in the spirit of serving others" so I can be part of Novelli's revolution to reinvent America because I'll be 50+ then, too!

Link: A message from AARP CEO Bill Novelli

Link: Get the book 50+: Igniting a Revolution to Reinvent America

My book recommendations on Suggestica

Keith Ferrazzi

The tireless Rajesh Setty just launched a great new service to help folks get recommendations on books and more from people they trust.

Click below to check out 10 books I recommend for rounding out your relationships reading.

Link: http://www.suggestica.com/keithferrazzi

Is Chargers QB Philip Rivers a hall-of-famer?

Ian Ybarra

Not the Pro Football Hall of Fame! Even with the Chargers' 9-2 start with Philip Rivers at the helm, there are still many years before anyone will be able to make a call on that.

I'm talking about the Connectors' Hall of Fame, into which folks like Bill Clinton, Katharine Graham, and Paul Revere were inducted in Never Eat Alone.

In a recent Sports Illustrated article about the painful two years Rivers had to sit the bench and stand the sidelines before getting his chance to perform, it's clear that Rivers understood how relationships could make or break his success when he would finally join the first team.

...he sat [the bench].

But he didn't sit back. During those two seasons Rivers willed himself into the Chargers' inner circle. On the practice field he'd show his competitiveness by barking at first-teamers like linebacker Donnie Edwards: "Y'all better be ready, I'm gonna hit 'em all today." In the locker room the 6'5", 228-pound Rivers made a point of bouncing from cubicle to cubicle, chatting up the veterans whom he might someday command in the huddle. "I tried to build relationships," says Rivers. "If I wound up being the starter, I didn't want to have to walk up to guys and say, 'Hello, my name is Philip.'"

All-Pro tailback LaDainian Tomlinson howls at this revelation. "Is that what he was doing? You'd never know it. It was like he was another guy in the room having a conversation with his teammates."

Full story at SI.com - "Worth the Wait" (subscription required)

Keith explains his Executive Relationship Management (ERM) system in CRM magazine

ERM allows you to create an automatic process to scale intimacy, focus on building deeper real relationships with key influencers who will help you succeed, and achieve the full potential of your network. But we never let our clients forget that building better relationships will bring each of us more joy in our long and demanding days and ultimately in our lives.

More at...
CRM magazine: "Building Better Relationships Through ERM: A proactive mindset and process for deepening bonds"