never eat alone blog

Tip 98 How To Hit The Clutch Shots

I've known Jim Citrin for a number of years, and he is truly extraordinary as is his newest book, The Dynamic Path. Jim is one of the most powerful headhunters in the world and the most caring and generous of souls I have the honor to call a friend. A real Renaissance man. An athlete and a scholar, Jim gives us the formula for transitioning from struggling individual to legacy-creating professional and society contributor...

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Happy Thanksgiving

I spent the day with good friends and loved ones. I hope you did too. As you may know, I send personalized Thanksgiving cards instead of Christmas cards. I like to stand out! The text reads: As we in California emerge from a series of wildfires, it's especially time to give thanks for the richness of our lives and the people in them. Our office fire shown on this card was minor compared to the losses so many of our friends suffered. Belongings can be replaced, but relationships with loved ones and friends are what bring real meaning to our lives. So, I hope you'll join me and take a moment to be grateful this Thanksgiving. Our appreciation will also prompt our generosity and isn’t that what the holiday season is all about? Warmest, Keith

Tip 97 – Be Grateful

I do try to consciously practice gratitude every day, but certainly Thanksgiving is a reminder to us all. I recall driving up to Santa Barbara to meet some friends for the holiday one year and just scrolling through my cell phone and dialing people to say how grateful I was at that very moment for their presence in my life. How truly blessed I am, for so many different reasons, for the moments these people, like my writing partner Tahl Raz, walked into my life. The more people I called, the better I felt about myself and the world...

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Monster Article for Salespeople

I found an article on Monster.com that may interest you. It's called What Buyers Really Think of Salespeople. You can find it at http://career-advice.monster.com/workplace-productivity/sales/What-Buyers-Really-Think-of-Salespe/Home.aspx.

Your Insights on NEA

I'd like to understand what it was about Never Eat Alone that first captured you and made you decide to invest in reading/listening, etc.  Your answers will help me in the writing of my next book and positioning of training.

1) So, what was the "problem" or issue you thought I spoke to and what did you think the promise was I was offering you?

2) In the same light, once you got into the content, what made the deepest impact and jumped off the page to you? What really struck you as important? 

3) And, what actually changed your life in some way?  What new habits have you developed to keep you moving ahead related to what you learned from NEA?

4) What have been the results or how do you think a year from now you will measure the results?

Your insights will be much appreciated!

The Creative Lawyer

My friend Michael Melcher is a career coach, author of The Creative Lawyer and an all-around great guy. Here he generously shares some valuable lessons on public speaking:

Relationship-based Public Speaking (or How to Give a Great Presentation)

I first met Keith Ferrazzi at the MBA Career Services Conference a couple of years ago. He gave a keynote address, and I thought, “Wow, he’s a good speaker.” 

Great public speakers energize, educate and inspire their audiences. Lousy (or lazy) public speakers bore, frustrate and alienate their audiences. Have you ever sat in a conference room for hours while someone read through every word of a PowerPoint deck? Not pleasant.

Good public speaking is relationship-based. As I have written in my book, The Creative Lawyer, relationships are based on understanding and negotiating needs—your needs and those of others. Relationship-based public speaking is all about creating an experience that meets the needs of the audience, not the ego of the speaker.

Good public speaking is not about giving speeches. For a moment, step away from the idea that you are giving a speech, and think more broadly about what’s going on. A bunch of people are in the room waiting for your lead. What do they want? That’s easy enough to figure out. They want to learn something. They want their time used effectively. If it’s a professional event, they probably want a chance to get to know each other. And they want to enjoy themselves. That perspective—what does my audience need?—should inform every aspect of your preparation and delivery, from the content you select to the frequency of breaks. Instead of thinking about how to impress your audience, think about how to satisfy them.

Learning comes from participating, not from being lectured. The way most of us were educated—sitting in classrooms listening to teachers lecture—is now known to be one of the least effective ways to learn. People learn by working with material. The more you create interactive learning moments that allow people to speak, share and experience, the more they will learn and the happier they will be. This means you should not be doing all the talking!

When Keith started his speech at the MBA Career Services Conference, he kicked it off with a short, funny, interactive icebreaker. A few minutes into his speech, he asked each of us to introduce ourselves to someone new—three times. The first time was the ordinary way we’d do it. The second time was by expressing a passion. And the third time was by expressing a vulnerability. This exercise opened up the energy of the room, gave several hundred people the chance to start making meaningful connections with their peers, and brought home the point of his speech. Had he just lectured, it wouldn’t have had the same effect. 

A great speech is about energy as much as words. Mediocre speakers focus solely on words. Great speakers know that energy is as much a part of content as words. Think about what energy is needed in the room, and then model it. What tone is going to help the group you’re addressing?  Seriousness? Humor? Concern? Light-heartedness? Complexity? Simplicity? Think about it, then project it. At the same time, remember that . . .

Good speakers are authentic. Meaningful relationships require authenticity, and so do meaningful audience events. Authenticity is being true to yourself. It means showing up as a real person, not a cardboard version that you think might impress people. Speakers like Bill Clinton, Oprah and Suze Orman are quite authentic—they focus on being themselves more than on impressing people. Let your real self out on the stage.

Your relationship is with everyone in the room, not just the talkers. A conductor doesn’t let just one instrument play. Similarly, don’t let one or a handful of people dominate discussion, Q&A, or participation. The quiet ones are counting on you to keep problem folks in line. You have the power to keep things running smoothly. They don’t.

And remember rule #1:  Don’t talk too much. Whatever the length of your speech, it should probably be shorter. You will exude more presence speaking for 15 minutes than for 75. Preparing means brainstorming, writing, and then editing—lots of editing. You show your respect for the audience by the time and effort you put into your preparation. Make every word count. And I beg you—when people ask you questions, don’t use these as opportunities for lengthy monologues. Answer the question and turn it back to the audience!

Tip 96 – Debunking the Time Myth

I always hear people say that they don’t have the time to look for a new job or consult with a personal board of advisors or make that extra call to an important contact. BS, let's get real. When you say “I don’t have time,” just admit that you are really saying “I don’t want to. Others things are more important, and I am not courageous enough to admit that fact to myself and others.” You make time for what is important to you! ...

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Dog and Pony Video

If you want to know what my first job was, what scares me and what superpower I want, check out this Dog and Pony interview: http://www.bnet.com/2422-13721_23-175459.html. It's just a few minutes long.

Tip 95 – Don’t Undervalue Yourself

Generosity and working for free when you’re first changing careers is one thing; undervaluing yourself is another. If you’re an entrepreneur and you keep offering services without charge in a well-meaning but misguided attempt to raise business, you are telling people that your time is worth zero...

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Never Party Alone

From Daniela Bermann, Director, Business Development, 02138 Magazine:

I had the pleasure of meeting Keith Ferrazzi on September 28^th, 2007 in Cambridge at our one year anniversary party honoring the Harvard 100 for 02138 Magazine in conjunction with the HBS reunion weekend. (02138 Magazine is a lifestyle magazine featuring Harvard alumni and the interesting roles they play in life today.) We got to speaking on a whole host of topics and also learned we had some mutual friends in common. I was fascinated by his background and success and was most bowled over by his generosity in humoring me and going out of his way to help me to create a unique follow-up for my Polo client whose Polo Pony shirt he was wearing at our event. In addition to joining the 02138 festivities, Ferrazzi also served as keynote speaker the following day at the 25^th reunion for Harvard Business School class of ’82. As the keynote speaker, Ferrazzi interviewed Jamie Dimon (CEO of JP Morgan Chase and #17 on 02138’s 2007 Harvard 100 List). Keith invited me to attend and he was PHENOMENAL!!!! I have to say, I cannot remember seeing such a quiet, captive audience (400 strong) in a long time… barely anyone got up or looked at their Blackberries (phones did not ring/buzz) for 2 hours! He was captivating, engaging, sincere, vulnerable… all of the qualities he preaches and had us interact and role play to apply his advice and his tips made remarkable differences immediately!  Though he graciously gave me a signed copy of Never Eat Alone, I bought 30 of his books to send to my Polo clients and to other clients, family and friends…and I signed up for his “Tips of the Week” as they are great reinforcements of what we should all be doing in every aspect of business and life.

Read Me on the Go

The folks at Viigo (free to download from www.viigo.com), mobile RSS reader for Blackberry and Windows Mobile, have added this blog to their channel list. If you select add a channel, then choose Business>Entrepreneurship, you will be able to add the "Never Eat Alone" blog to your mobile device. 

Tip 94 – Ask Yourself Seven Questions

To be successful, you need to ask yourself some tough questions. Here's a great exercise to get you thinking about your dream job or business. Commit to your answers by writing them down.

These Seven Steps to Success come from Dr. Mark Goulston (http://markgoulston.com), author of Get Out of Your Own Way at Work.

1. What do you love making (product) or doing (service) that has enough value that other people would be willing and want to pay for (your DREAM)?

2. What desire or problem is your product (what you make) or service (what you do) the best answer or solution to (your VISION and MISSION)?

…

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