The Creative Lawyer

My friend Michael Melcher is a career coach, author of The Creative Lawyer and an all-around great guy. Here he generously shares some valuable lessons on public speaking:

Relationship-based Public Speaking (or How to Give a Great Presentation)

I first met Keith Ferrazzi at the MBA Career Services Conference a couple of years ago. He gave a keynote address, and I thought, “Wow, he’s a good speaker.” 

Great public speakers energize, educate and inspire their audiences. Lousy (or lazy) public speakers bore, frustrate and alienate their audiences. Have you ever sat in a conference room for hours while someone read through every word of a PowerPoint deck? Not pleasant.

Good public speaking is relationship-based. As I have written in my book, The Creative Lawyer, relationships are based on understanding and negotiating needs—your needs and those of others. Relationship-based public speaking is all about creating an experience that meets the needs of the audience, not the ego of the speaker.

Good public speaking is not about giving speeches. For a moment, step away from the idea that you are giving a speech, and think more broadly about what’s going on. A bunch of people are in the room waiting for your lead. What do they want? That’s easy enough to figure out. They want to learn something. They want their time used effectively. If it’s a professional event, they probably want a chance to get to know each other. And they want to enjoy themselves. That perspective—what does my audience need?—should inform every aspect of your preparation and delivery, from the content you select to the frequency of breaks. Instead of thinking about how to impress your audience, think about how to satisfy them.

Learning comes from participating, not from being lectured. The way most of us were educated—sitting in classrooms listening to teachers lecture—is now known to be one of the least effective ways to learn. People learn by working with material. The more you create interactive learning moments that allow people to speak, share and experience, the more they will learn and the happier they will be. This means you should not be doing all the talking!

When Keith started his speech at the MBA Career Services Conference, he kicked it off with a short, funny, interactive icebreaker. A few minutes into his speech, he asked each of us to introduce ourselves to someone new—three times. The first time was the ordinary way we’d do it. The second time was by expressing a passion. And the third time was by expressing a vulnerability. This exercise opened up the energy of the room, gave several hundred people the chance to start making meaningful connections with their peers, and brought home the point of his speech. Had he just lectured, it wouldn’t have had the same effect. 

A great speech is about energy as much as words. Mediocre speakers focus solely on words. Great speakers know that energy is as much a part of content as words. Think about what energy is needed in the room, and then model it. What tone is going to help the group you’re addressing?  Seriousness? Humor? Concern? Light-heartedness? Complexity? Simplicity? Think about it, then project it. At the same time, remember that . . .

Good speakers are authentic. Meaningful relationships require authenticity, and so do meaningful audience events. Authenticity is being true to yourself. It means showing up as a real person, not a cardboard version that you think might impress people. Speakers like Bill Clinton, Oprah and Suze Orman are quite authentic—they focus on being themselves more than on impressing people. Let your real self out on the stage.

Your relationship is with everyone in the room, not just the talkers. A conductor doesn’t let just one instrument play. Similarly, don’t let one or a handful of people dominate discussion, Q&A, or participation. The quiet ones are counting on you to keep problem folks in line. You have the power to keep things running smoothly. They don’t.

And remember rule #1:  Don’t talk too much. Whatever the length of your speech, it should probably be shorter. You will exude more presence speaking for 15 minutes than for 75. Preparing means brainstorming, writing, and then editing—lots of editing. You show your respect for the audience by the time and effort you put into your preparation. Make every word count. And I beg you—when people ask you questions, don’t use these as opportunities for lengthy monologues. Answer the question and turn it back to the audience!