« Dog and Pony Video | Main | The Creative Lawyer »
Tip 96 – Debunking the Time Myth
I always hear people say that they don’t have the time to look for a new job or consult with a personal board of advisors or make that extra call to an important contact. BS, let's get real. When you say “I don’t have time,” just admit that you are really saying “I don’t want to. Others things are more important, and I am not courageous enough to admit that fact to myself and others.” You make time for what is important to you! ... To get complete, future tips of the week by e-mail, click here to subscribe. Also, feel free to join the conversation around this tip by posting a comment below.
Posted by Keith Ferrazzi on November 14, 2007 | Permalink
TrackBack
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451c0cf69e200e54f834ea28833
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Tip 96 – Debunking the Time Myth :
Comments
So true. People make time for what's important to them and what they feel comfortable doing. Aside from that, people are quick to make excuses about why they do not want to do things, especially when they know they should be done.
Posted by: Brandon | Nov 14, 2007 9:21:08 PM
A quote that I have lived by for the past few years is, "If you really want to do something, you will find a way. If you don't, you will find an excuse!" To me this is so true in everyday life. If it is important enough, you will do what it takes to get it done.
Posted by: Jeff | Nov 15, 2007 1:08:34 PM
I don't know. I used to believe that until I had competeing priorities. Sometimes, there are 3 things that are equally important and it's difficult to juggle. Activity #1 might bring you closer to your family, Activity #2 might bring you closer to financial goal and Activity #3 might bring you closer to ideal weight. It not always that you're not into it.
Posted by: Shah | Nov 15, 2007 1:10:46 PM
Very well put Keith. Thank you for this message today! I am a believer in not saying the words "too busy". We are all busy and I am thankful for it. For if the opposite were true, it would be a sad day. It's all about balancing life, work, and priorities.
--Stay Positive.
Posted by: Shea Park | Nov 15, 2007 1:13:18 PM
Well written - Someone once said if you want something accomplished either do it yourself or delegate it to someone who is already busy. Proverbs says that we should learn from the ant, he is always busy preparing for the future while investing in the day!
Posted by: Avery Munsey | Nov 15, 2007 1:29:57 PM
The best retort I’ve ever heard to “no time” paraphrased is “Time is the one thing we are all endowed with equally” , Intelligence, physical skills, education, opportunity, looks all vary … Time it is the only level playing field you get.
Posted by: Steve | Nov 15, 2007 1:30:30 PM
I've been coaching someone who has said that:
"Her husband's health concerns & needs have to be met, often without warning". She had started an MFA 3 times but family concerns made her drop out. I don't think these issues have to do with excuses, they have more to do with: "I don't have a self or identity, so I will pass the buck to say that it is out of my hands". Does that ring a bell? Cheers, MJT
Posted by: Marilyn J. Tellez, M.A | Nov 15, 2007 1:38:30 PM
It's about taking responsibility for those actions which are under your control. There are always impediments to our desires that are beyond are control. It is not that we have to find the time in our busy schedules, we must make the time. Priorities are set and change, but are free agency as individuals or employees must be protected.
Posted by: Ronnie | Nov 15, 2007 1:50:31 PM
Another great message - This is also why I think punctuality is so important, it communicates to others what our real priorities are. This also ties in well with the last post about fees and value. If a client knows they will still be billed if they cancel at the last minute, you will become a top priority and they will “make time”. Thanks, Keith
Posted by: Brad Wilson | Nov 15, 2007 2:03:25 PM
It helps to be able to give an honest "no" to oneself and to others when something is not a priority -- it creates clarity so the "too busy" rationalization isn't needed...
Posted by: Mike Jolkovski | Nov 15, 2007 2:04:21 PM
keith, I hate to join the mass of "agree-ers" but you've nailed this one ... so long as we agree the underlying cause is a complete lack of personal discipline? If we agree on that then, yes, it's all about bad choices!
In an effort to expand my sphere of influence I just signed up to be a wrestling coach & referee for the local wrestling matches. People asked me "joe, how the hell are you going to pull that off, you're busiest guy I know". Hey, I made it a priority to get out in the community and meet new people. No to mention this helps me with my goal to get down to the wieght class i should be in!!! Folks, get your butts of the couch and go coach a kid!!!!
Posted by: Jose | Nov 15, 2007 3:26:03 PM
This is great inspiration for someone like me who desperately needs to get off my rear and put in 200% effort into those things which are truly important to me.
Posted by: Arun Narang | Nov 15, 2007 5:05:34 PM
You cut the part that made me laugh (and remember it), "Think about the last time you said you didn't have time for sex. Was it because you didn't have time or you just weren't into it?"
I have never heard (or read) someone put it this succinctly. Time management and Sex. Tacky but a good analogy. If it is important enough, you'll make time for it. The biggest reason why we dont do certain things is that we know of other activities that can give us a greater marginal utility at that point in time.
"Come on, you found time to eat dessert, didn't you? You could have used that time to do five push-ups." Yes again. To do the right thing in this case, one must learn to view things over the long term. That is, look at the NPV of the activity, not the immediate cost/benefit. Otherwise, one will always end up eating ice cream. And that's not a good thing.
Posted by: Frederick Alfredo | Nov 15, 2007 5:06:17 PM
It's more than time, it's energy. There is a great, recent HBR article called "Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time" Check it out.
I eat dessert not because it take more or less time than working out, but less energy. Does anyone actually time how long it takes to eat ice cream?
Working out may take up more time, but it gives you more energy. Time is unrenewable, energy isn't. Use your time to manage your energy. Then you'll get more out of every minute.
Posted by: Sanjay | Nov 15, 2007 5:23:29 PM
I agree, we have time for what we want. But even before I read Sanjay's post, my response was "The issue is energy."
Depending on the day or week I've had, I may have a couple hours to do something, but be so dragged out especially emotionally/mentally that it ain't gonna happen!
Physical fitness is part of the answer, but so is wise energy management through pacing yourself, taking time off, and eating well.
Check out the book "The Power of Full Engagement."
Posted by: Daren Wride | Nov 15, 2007 8:07:28 PM
When someone says, or I say to myself, "I don't have time," what they are really saying is "I don't want to step outside my comfort zone, so it's much easier to fill my time with busy work, house work, or someone else's needs, until I conveniently have the excuse of running out of time and my pride and comfort zone stay intact."
I try to challenge myself to feel the discomfort and do it anyway. The discomfort usually goes away with taking action. I remind myself that if it doesn't work out for some reason, I will just try another approach.
Posted by: Trina | Nov 15, 2007 8:07:46 PM
If people say "i don't have time " for sure,they don't want to do it.they think this thing is not more important than others for him.They have to manage the time for other important things.in another case,they are really not interested in it, they don't want to do the things that make him feel boring and tired.and all people have the same 24hours a day,you never know how many things he or she had done already and what's his feeling before u ask,maybe he just want to get out of all the work and things to have a breath that time.So don't expect people all want to do the things u hope them to do.if u heard 'sorry,i have no time" then smile and wish him have a nice time whatever he will do.That means u respect his time and understand his case.
Posted by: Ashley | Nov 15, 2007 8:30:34 PM
We all find the time to do the things we really want to do. We are only too busy when we we are not interested or it is not important to us or it is way down on our list.
Posted by: Sandy | Nov 16, 2007 2:18:08 AM
It is difficult for those of us who push ourselves out of the simple desire to succeed to totally understand the self-doubt and insecurity that so many feel. I'm not sure time is the problem. They are simply afraid. They dwell on the "what ifs" until they are consumed by them, convincing themselves that staying exactly where they are is where they are supposed to be. Remaining in that self-inflicted comfort zone makes them feel protected and safe from the world of possiblities. Despite our encouragement, they alone have the power to move forward. It pains me to see such amazing talent and knowledge go unnoticed.
Posted by: Claudia | Nov 16, 2007 5:24:54 AM
Posted by: Jose S | Nov 16, 2007 11:20:58 AM
Unless someone is a supreme being, you cannot "make" time, rather you schedule it, as I talked about on my own blog - http://www.thehotiron.com/index.php/site/comments/its_scheduling_time_not_making_time/. We can schedule time, or not schedule time and just let things happen. Scheduling my workouts gets me to the gym and keeps distractions away.
mp/m
Posted by: Mike Maddaloni | Nov 17, 2007 8:51:17 AM
When I was on my quest during my 20s back in the 1960s, my mentor who was a financial services genius advised me:
"Time is your best friend, or your worst enemy!"
Ponder this and realize that we must leverage "Time" and that along with good health it is the only truly valuable commodity we have. "Time" appropriately used and leveraged will provide us quality of life and happiness and add value to all life on our planet. Or we can waste it and soon learn that it has been our enemy.
Posted by: Peter Magurean III | Nov 17, 2007 10:35:35 AM
While I quite agree with Keith's thoughts, particularly about life coaches or accountability partners, we also need to feel free to speak the truth that some things, however important generally, may not be so important at any give time. Some examples I dare to say at least a few of which every person on this list has missed at one time or another. Yet, if you ask the pro's associated with each, they'll tell you they are vitally important...
Two visits to the dentist each year.
Twice daily brushing and flossing.
Review Life, Home, Auto... insurances at least once a year.
Review your will every year.
Simple medical check up, twice a year.
Colonoscopy every five years (30yo+).
Quarterly Chiropractic to stay healthy and comfortable.
20 Min's per day, minimum, cardiovascular workout...'this is not strength training or excercising for weight loss...'
Daily Devotions, Prayer Time, Scripture Reading (...'these are not the same things...').
At least two weeks' continuous vacation per year ('breaking it in to little pieces is not the same health wise...').
Take at least a fifteen minute nap each day.
All this on top of things like automtive cleaning and repair, window washing & chores around the home, proper eating and eight hours of sleep, time away with the wife, time with the children and time separately with each child, serving on committees...
I'd like to make a list of all the things we are supposed to set aside time to accomplish. I am quite certain there are not enough hours in a day to do them all...well, and still have time for self improvement & simple relaxation. Certainly, at least one of mine has been eliminated by having typed this little note :-)
Posted by: Mark H. Hendricks | Nov 19, 2007 8:54:41 AM
I don't know--I made a list of all the things I thought were important to do each day a few years ago and came up with a 34 hour day. They included family and friend personal time, working 8 hours, writing an hour, drawing/painting an hour, a walk, yoga, reading, making dinner, gardening, etc. and about 6 hours of sleep time. Obviously I had to adjust my expectations as well as my schedule.
Recently we had three deaths in our family and our schedules were all knocked off by the needs of various family members. It wasn't a matter of making time for this or that--it was more a matter of needing to be here for this and needing to be there for that. Every day I had to show up for the most important thing that day and lots of other important things didn't get done. I don't think I didn't do them because I didn't want them. Being with a dying person was just more important than getting to the post office with an order. Does this make me unprofessional? So be it. I managed to stay on top of most of my tasks during this time but find myself resenting the attitudes of those who seem to think if I didn't get something done I must be a slacker watching tv and eating bonbons instead of doing something more important. Maybe there are days when watching tv and eating bonbons is the best thing we can do for ourselves now that I think about it. I know that what you say is mostly true but I think we have to give ourselves a break when there are extenuating circumstances out of our control because sometimes life intervenes with our best laid plans. This wouldn't be repeated so often if it wasn't somewhat true....
Posted by: Mary Richmond | Nov 20, 2007 10:51:22 AM
Moreover, comments about and to thin women are often double edged. Idealized and revered as role models and ideals, they are equally envied and resented. Not true of thin men who are, well, just thin men. A slim woman may be a gem of a person, but may be disliked merely for how she looks. Focusing on women’ s thinness does a disservice to those who are slender and to those who aren’ t by creating stereotypes that damage self- esteem and self- love. They can cause fat women to feel badly about their bodies. ...
Posted by: dieting for weddings | Mar 20, 2008 9:14:27 AM
